413 Seconds
by Feistyy
Summary: What if there was a bit more truth to Juvia's hallucinations in 413 Days than she realized? (Written pre-animation, so unfortunately no ElfEver moment)
1. Chapter 1

Fairy Tail and the plots and characters therein, including setting for and the dialogue at the beginning and end of this story, belong to Hiro Mashima and so forth.

I don't know how well I captured the delicious tenderness of Mashima-sensei's depiction of this moment, but hopefully you like it! If you do, let me know in the comments or by following and I'll do a Natsu and Lucy chapter.

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**413 Minutes**

"C'mon Natsu... stop it... Not out in public."

"It'll be fine! C'mon, just a little?"

Do they even realise what they sound like? Well, Juvia certainly does. She's openly gawking at them. If the flame-brain and Bunny Girl want to make a spectacle of themselves, that's their own business. I got more important shit to think about.

Alright, that's it. I've decided and there's no going back this time. The table's shaking... oh. Must've hit it. Well, at least I wrenched Juvia out of whatever perverted fantasy she was in. She's rubbing her eyes with her sleeve. Pretty furiously. If I'd imagined Salamander doing what it sounded like they were doing I'd want to scrub it out of my mind pretty quick and thorough too.

And here comes my chance. I've caught a reflection in the large bottle to my right. She's coming up from behind me and she comes bearing gifts. There's a stack of books in her right hand, balancing on her hip. But in her left hand is a plate of food. Too much for her tiny frame to gulp down in one sitting. And she's headed right for my table. And she's smiling. And best of all, no sign of her useless teammates. I'll get her all to myself. It's the perfect opportunity.

Levy leans over my shoulder to place the plate of chicken and potatoes in front of me. Things are looking good. She brought two forks, her breasts are just brushing across my shoulder, and I know from the way her body's twisted that if I just leaned back I'd get a great view of that ass. She's got a short dress on... in this position it might not even... But I'm playing the long game. What's a quick stolen peek compared to what I could have if this plays out how I want? And the element of surprise and immediate action is crucial here.

As she turns to take her place on the other side of the table, I spin myself around on the bench, keeping my legs wide, using speed only a true dragon-slayer could have at his disposal. I grab her right forearm and twirl her back towards me, causing her precious books to go crashing to the ground. But she doesn't even have time to protest as my right arm pulls her torso in to meet mine, sandwiching her left arm between us. My left arm drops her right arm around my neck and moves in for the kill, gently weaving through her hair as I bring my lips down to hers. Down? Her legs must've buckled when I spun her. I know she's short but she's not _that _short and far too much of her weight is on me for her feet to be supporting her too. I don't mind at all. Her left hand twitches slightly against my shoulder as I breathe her in, trying to let her know what I need her to know without words. Words are her thing, action's mine. But I don't need anything more than this right now, just a simple kiss, chaste but lingering. It's perfect. I press her to me, gently. I ain't gonna force myself on her. Gotta build the trust. She could easily get away if she was trying. But she isn't. I feel her lips hum against mine as she lets out a little moan. Oh yeah. Everything according to plan. Now that's suave. Elfman will yell out "Man!" any second now... any second...

A sound like a boiling teapot cuts through my concentration. Now I'm the one Juvia's staring at. And Levy is across the table. She'd walked right past me and I'd been too busy dreaming about what I should've been doing that I completely missed he chance to... you know... do it. Shorty looks like she just got wrenched out of a fantasy too... Oh. She's reading. Or she was until Juvia shrieked or whatever the hell that inhuman sound could possibly be called.

"Ah, Juvia, you're out pretty late tonight."

Well, if Levy can forgive her for the interruption, I have to at least try to be civil. Nothing for it. "If you're looking for that ice-bastard, he ain't here. He's outside." That'll get her out of everyone's hair but Grey's, and who cares about him. But I am not impressed. I can tell I'm shooting her a dark glare and I'm trying to keep my hands unclenched but it just isn't working. Even if it was just a fantasy, it felt real enough to me.

She will suffer for this.


	2. Chapter 2

Someone actually asked for it and I'm not about to hold my work hostage for a specific number of favourites or follows so, as promised, the NaLu chapter!

Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima and the italicised quote is from Stephenie Meyer's _Twilight_, or wherever she got it from. I'm sure Lucy would have read it.

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**413 Minutes**

It's been a rough day. Frickin' awesome! But boy am I tired. I knew that Cobalt Talon or whatever would be a weak-ass guild as soon as I set eyes on that sissy guild mark. Coulda taken 'em even without Lucy there. Picture this, right? An entire guild of dark mages. The job posting came from the mayor of Daffo-something... some small town. Said a couple guys were making themselves unwelcome, the pay was good, and I figured Lucy could use the money. Just a couple trouble-makers, no reason to drag Grey and Erza into it, which meant more money for Lucy. But that mayor was a lying cheat! It was awesome! Dark mages everywhere! All for me! And some for Lucy. But most for me! It was like if I was Erza and the town was a cake-shop. But by the end of the day, I was Natsu and the town was some town I'd just destroyed. Lucy was pretty sure it was my fault the mayor wouldn't give us the full fee, so I let her have what was left. Part of it goes towards food that I eat anyway.

And now we're back at the guild, right in the thick of things, right where I love to be. I kicked some ass, filled my belly, regaled my comrades with tales of my epicness, and picked out a job for tomorrow. Now I just need to rest my eyes a bit. Just for five minutes. As long as I can still hear and smell everything I won't miss anything, right? I can still tell that Lucy's real close, Happy's even closer, there's no sign of icy-pants and the Gajeel's all the way on the other side of the room. Everyone's safe and happy. What else matters?

I focus on Lucy's scent. It's calming or something. Huh. I can even hear myself snoring. Dragon Slayer senses for the win!

Lucy Luce Luce... I'd thought she was standing at the table to my right talking to Cana but I must've been wrong because she's sitting right beside me. I show her the job I picked out. Just look at that reward! 54u43ih488943898943 jewel! It looks a little off to me but Lucy's sure impressed. She sidles up so her left thigh is pressed tight against my right. The force of her sidling somehow pushes us halfway down the bench and knocks Happy onto the floor or something because he's nowhere to be seen. Which is just fine because there's plenty of Lucy to be seen. I guess my right arm's been around her shoulders. If I squeeze her, I can make her boobs jiggle. Or hey! If I just move my arm up a bit, guess where my hand lands! And if I just take her right hand and move it over to me right thigh, not only does it somehow make her cleavage even more noticeable, it brings her within easy kissing range. I didn't think I'd kissed Lucy before but right now it just feels like the acceptable thing to do. Just an average day at the guild for dream-me. You rule, dream-me.

"C'mon Natsu... Stop it... Not out in public." So I _do_ kiss Lucy! In private at least. I thought so. But we're not in private and I wanna get to kissin' now. Time to turn on the charm.

"It'll be fine! C'mon, just a little?" For a little added persuasion, I give a bit of a squeeze with my right hand.

"Ahn... oh..." Now that's what I wanna hear.

Suddenly Gajeel pounds his fist on his table across the hall, jerking me right out of my dream. Now Lucy's all the way over there again! What crawled up his ass? Does he wanna go? Just five more minutes and I'll knock him another seven years into the future.

"Natsu, you can't sleep here!" Like I haven't heard Lucy say that before. I wanna go back to the things she hasn't said before. "That goes for you too, Happy!"

He squeaks out a feeble "Aye..." but can't quite gather the strength for a "Sir!" He's just as wiped as me. Poor little...

* * *

"C'mon Natsu... Stop it... Not out in public."

"It'll be fine! C'mon, just a little?" He is drooling on the table. People have to eat there.

But he did have a hard battle today and he does look a little... well not cute exactly, but... do I really have to move him? "Ahn... oh..." I'm just about to say it's fine when someone punches something hard. I have to get him out before a brawl starts and he gets trampled. Besides, people (namely Juvia) are staring. At us! I don't like her expression one bit! What does she think's going on? I'm not even touching him! Time to put my foot down.

"Natsu, you can't sleep here! That goes for you too, Happy!" What would Natsu do if he didn't have me to tell him where not to sleep? Oh, right. He never listens anyway.

I weigh the pros and cons of summoning a spirit to carry them home. I'm still pretty drained from our job. But I should be able to handle keeping a gate open long enough to get them to bed. I definitely can't drag them out of here myself. I'm definitely not strong enough to carry Natsu if he's not willing to walk on his own and just use me for support. Since he's already snoring, that's out of the question. I could literally just drag him, but what would I grab on to? His scarf would choke him, his vest would just come off, and I am not sticking my hand into his waistband. It would have to be a limb. Or maybe his hair. So, that's an option. But why not see if I can come up with something a little less painful for him. Just to be nice.

I already used Horologium today. We had to hike over the mountains to get to the town where the job was. It wouldn't be fair to call him out again.

Plue couldn't even lift Happy, let alone Natsu.

This is definitely not a job for Crux, or Lyra. Pyxis would help if I didn't already know where Natsu lives, but I do. I'll have to use a gold key.

Taurus would be the obvious choice but he got pretty beat up today. I'd better jut let him recover.

Aquarius is out of the question. Even if I could manage to summon her from the only liquid in this place ‒booze‒ she would be pissed. And then she'd be pissed that I summoned her for something this simple. We'd get to Natsu's house, alright. Just not in one piece.

Ah, that's right! She's still on her stupid "Make-up Vacation" with Scorpio. What even is that? I guess that means he's out to...

That's it! I'll summon Loke! I'm sure he won't mind carrying Natsu for me! I'll just open his gate and... "Virgo?!"

"At your service, princess! Loke is on a date, please punish me in his stead."

"Again?! What does he think this is?" Once, I can understand, but pulling this stunt twice?

"He said to tell you to please refrain from summoning Aries as well."

"H-he's with Aries?!" And _so the lion fell in love with the lamb_, huh? Not entirely unexpected but still, is everyone hooking up except me?! Ah well. Virgo's more than capable of carrying Natsu. "I just need to get these two home as soon as possible, can you do that for me?"

"Understood, princess," she salutes. In a second, she has Natsu and Happy in her arms and is gone. I guess I'd better get home too. It is getting late.

I trudge down the streets of magnolia, too tired to even walk along the edge of the river. With my luck tonight, I _would_ fall in. I open the door to my apartment, let out a big sigh... and realise that Virgo has taken Natsu and Happy to the _wrong home. _She's tucked them into _my_ bed, not that there's anything too out of place about that. She's done a very though job of it, too. There's even a fresh glass of water for them. Nice attention to detail. And Natsu's clothes are neatly folded on the... neatly folded... _not on his body! _No.I am too tired to deal with this right now. I collapse on top of the covers. I'll yell at everyone in the morning.

* * *

Too... early...

I swing my torso up and plop my arms between my legs, shoulders hunched. Too early to sit straight. I let out a yawn and rub my right eye, taking in my surroundings. Lucy's apartment. Lucy's bed. Lucy! Last thing I remember we were at the guild so she musta brought us back here! Sweet! And after all those times she's complained about me sleeping in her bed! I guess the guild ranks above Lucy's bed in places not to sleep. Good to know! Guess she was pretty tired after the mission too. She's still out like a light. Didn't even put on pajamas or get under the covers. Weird. She must be kinda cold. No problem! I can warm her up, easy! I flip my side of the blankets over to cover her and wrap myself around her, setting myself to simmer. And that's when I feel it. A cool breeze on my... bare backside.

I don't think I'll ever know for sure why Lucy stripped me. Every time I bring it up, she just starts yelling at such a high pitch that, with my sensitive hearing, it just ends up sounding like noise. Some girl thing, I guess. All I know is that when she did, she was so impressed that she fainted. All. Night. Long.


	3. Chapter 3

Bonus! I couldn't let Gajeel go unavenged, now could I?

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail, not I.

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**413 Acts of Violence**

It happened one day while Mistress was out on a job.

The beast came.

Allow me first to introduce myself. I am Grey-sama. Grey-sama Plushplush the First. I began my life, as all Plushplushes of the old regime, as a simple ghost. It was my job to be Mistress' closest friend and confidant. Those were dark times. Dark and wet. But then came the new regime, a glorious time of sunshine. Mistress' smile warmed us until it was as if we had never had mildew at all. And then she gave us new life and a new name. We are all Grey-sama and we are all here for her.

But unfortunately, Mistress takes jobs at the most inopportune times. As the First, I have learned that she prefers to leave the guild when The One and True Grey-sama is not there either. This way, she may spend as many days as possible basking in his presence, just as we Grey-samas bask in hers. However, with the absence of The One and True Grey-sama often comes the absence of Titania, Queen of Fairies and Castrator of Men. We are left unprotected.

Fear of Titania's wrath should she detect any foul-play upon her return has been an effective deterrent for male trespassers since the dawn of this age. One man, one beast, has been the only exception. And he came with a weapon most foul.

In the dead of night, long after Mistress had kissed us goodbye, promising to return soon, the window creaked open and a shadow with grinning white fangs slunk in. He unsheathed his weapon.

The Fifty-second was the first to fall, because of his position on the curtain rod. Such a brave soldier. The weapon slashed across his upper lip with a flourish. He made his way through each and every one of us, making some cry out "I am a loser!" and revelling in his victory. As the first, in my honoured position upon Mistress' bed, I was saved for last. And what he did to me... well, I'll just say he took particular care of my nether-regions. It was over so quickly, and yet we are still reeling from the effects even now.

After a quick search for survivors, the beast exited through the window and let out a sound that haunts my darkest nightmares to this very day.

"Gihee."

Mistress' distress upon her return is not a thing easily forgotten. She collapsed to her knees at the sight of the carnage. I only hope that somewhere in the town, that monster heard her anguished cry and felt some twinge of regret for his actions. She lovingly scrubbed each one of us for hours, rubbing her fingers raw, but to no avail. We still bear the scars of that terrible night and the dreaded permanent marker.

_Gajeel is not a man to make idle threats._


End file.
